photo taken by me in the Manzano Mountains on New Years Day 2021
If you follow me on Instagram you’ve seen my posts about my New Year Planning Guide and how I believe it’s really important to take your time to reflect, process and dream into 2021.
There are so many New Year, New You posts and emails flooding my screen encouraging peeps to have their goals and “word of the year” already set. Shit, I’m just trying to get my bearings. How is it already January 2nd??
Taking my time, this is my journey
I’m a big believer in reflection, journaling, setting goals and all that, but I cannot get behind the sense of urgency around having all this stuff on lock already, or even being ready to dig into them right now.
For one, reflection is an ongoing process. Having goals and a word of the year in place already is not a sign that anyone is more together than you. Not having them in place is a sign that you’re human, surviving a pandemic and doing the best that you can.
Meanwhile, the new year is connected to the Gregorian calendar, not the end all be all for every community on the planet.
The “Get it while it’s hot!” “The time is now!” “Are you ready?” “Have you done it yet?” “My word of 2021 is abundance, what’s yours?” sense of urgency is maddening.
This is White Supremacy culture at its worst. WSC is one of the most toxic environments one can find themselves in as a Person of Color and as a White person. You probs don’t even know you’re a product of WSC or perpetuating it’s tenets if you were born into it.
I can only speak to the experience of growing up in the United States which of course was built on the strongest WSC bricks one could find, and the general understanding here is that if you aren’t grinding, winning, doing it first, faster, bigger or better than you’re behind. But what if you think differently than other people?
My partner, Matt Kollock, recently wrote about some of his deepest, most vulnerable experiences and feelings, and the rawness reminded me of just how different each of us is and how shame permeates our lives if we aren’t showing up like the others.
In my work, I get to support folx who are growing dreams into tangible offerings; discovering who they really are/want to be; and working through the toxic WSC that’s held them down for so much of their lives.
What I know is that we’re all working through beliefs we didn’t mean to develop, that were inflicted on us, and that we rarely realize are weighing us down — or that we have the power to stop believing.
My point is, you don’t have to hurry, set goals for the new year or frankly do anything differently than you did last year if it doesn’t feel good to you.
I do however encourage you to spend some time reflecting, but in whatever way works for you — take your time, move at your own pace, write or don’t write — there are no rules for this.
Reflection is important for growth and it’s ongoing
If we don’t pause to acknowledge where we’ve been, how we feel, where we are in relation to where we were, how can we get to where we want to be (literally, spiritually, energetically) without spinning in circles and revisiting the same [places, feelings, challenges, harmful relationships, _____] over and over?
Reflection allows us to make tweaks.
Imagine you’re driving along and Siri pipes up to tell you there’s construction up ahead, giving you the chance to take a different route. Do you take the alternate route or keep going?
If you keep going, you might be making the journey longer and more difficult (what if you get stuck at a standstill and need to pee?).
Taking information that is being presented to us allows us to make choices about alternate routes which always present opportunities to have new experiences that we otherwise would have never known about. This is the fun part!
Siri is a lot like a personal reflection process. When we pause to analyze or consider the current path we’re on, we are generating information that can help us make decisions about what we want to change.
Three years ago tomorrow, I wrote about a catalyzing moment that ultimately led me here today. The experience itself was enough to derail me and the reflection process connected to it profoundly impacted my next steps which became a whole new path.
That experience made me want to start blogging as part of my reflection practice which is still part to how I think, process and plan. At the time, I had never blogged before, I wasn’t even on Facebook or Instagram, and now I use this medium as a tool for reflection. I never know what I’m going to write about when I get here, I just allow my mind and heart to guide me.
New year, same brilliant, growing, beautiful me.
This year I’m recovering from last year which was more challenging than any other in my life with the exception of the one when my grandpa, mom and grandma all died. Fuck off 2014.
The truth is, in spite of all of 2020’s challenges, there was also a lot of good. In big and small ways, I experienced sweetness, love and connection in more ways than almost any other time in my life. I’ll take more of this.
For now, I’m taking my time to figure out what my guiding word and feelings are, and what my deeper intentions for the year will be. They’ll emerge in the coming days and weeks.
I encourage you to take whatever time you need for this stuff too. I also encourage you to think twice about engaging in anything that suggests you become new.
If you haven’t figured out what 2021 is going to about for you, it’s all good.
Feel free to download my free New Year Planning Guide and start when you’re ready.
Love you,
Annie