How can you surprise yourself?
In April 2023 I went to the Vipassana Center in southern California for a 10-day silent meditation course.
On my 12-hour drive home, very much in a dreamy, psychedelic-like meditative state, I started crying while thinking about my sister and my mom, my grandma and myself as a kid.
My crying turned into deep sobbing.
I thought about all that my mom and grandma didn't get to do and won't get to see.
I thought about the complexity of my relationship with my sister and how close we once were. How much I love her and want her to do and see everything she wants to do and see.
I thought about the ways I was held back throughout my life.
I thought about the amazing things I've gotten to do and see.
I thought about how if I died on this drive home, I would be happy with how my life had been lived.
I thought about all that I want to do and see.
I felt a deep calm about who I am and what I'm here for.
As my sobbing slowed, tears still wet on my cheeks, I had the thought, "I just want to surprise myself."
In the handful of years before, I was growing this business from an idea into the primary provider for my family.
Little by little and big moment by big moment, Mariposa Strategies morphed from post-its on the wall into a multi-six figure company helping people around the world solve complex problems in their lives, businesses and organizations.
And, what led me to the California desert was deep dissatisfaction, fear and uncertainty about everything.
Driving home, I was seeing the sky, my family, my inheritance and my choices differently, with profound simplicity.
Everything is nature. All that crops up eventually dies. Such sweet sadness in this reality, and an incredibly clarifying lesson.
Everything is temporary. Everything. Clinging leads to suffering.
So then, what will you do with what you have at this time? It will be different in the coming months, years and decades.
My hope is that you and I both live to be 100 years old with bright, clear minds; flexible bodies and hearts; and peace and happiness in our spirits.
In order to get there, the only way I can think of is to focus on surprising myself.
Surprises stoke the unknown which is core to the cycles of nature. Birth and death cycles are riddled with the unknown.
Surprises stoke curiosity.
Surprises stoke unexpected delights.
How can you surprise yourself? Do the thing that comes to mind. Don't think yourself out of it.
As the US wreaks havoc at home and abroad, remember that what you can do is what you can do.
Sending you lots of love on this Friday afternoon,
Annie
p.s. I want to support you this season. I can be in your back pocket as soon as today. Make the payment in full and I will support you for an extra month + a private coaching session.
p.p.s. Join me this summer in New Mexico. Space is limited and will fill up, find time on my calendar to discuss.
Last night my friends came out for my first public art show. A piece I made last semester was selected for a juried group show. The juror said she could feel my relationship with the trees and asked if I had other work like this that she could see. I told her I didn't because it was my first complete artwork.
I love the look on my face - total delight!
Next to Vipassana, this drawing was the most cathartically challenging thing I've ever done.
I spend lots of time dreaming about the world I want to live in. Thank you for choosing to be part of my little corner.
Whether you're an executive, emerging leader, seasoned entrepreneur or budding business owner, I'm grateful you're here.
If what I shared moved you in some way or you just want to say hey, I'd love to hear from you. Email me anytime
Find me on Instagram (for now), LinkedIn, BlueSky (new) and YouTube (getting back soon).
